Despite being one of the biggest factors in long-term relationship success, money is still a taboo topic for most couples. New research from HSBC UK reveals that three in four Brits (75%) consider financial compatibility essential.

The nationwide survey of 2,000 adults explored how modern couples navigate finances – from dating apps to wedding vows – and the pressures, expectations and unspoken rules that come with spending in relationships.

The impact of this silence is clear, with 58% of couples having argued about money.

“This research reveals opportunities for better financial communication. Money talks aren’t just about budgeting – they are about trust, priorities and building a future together,” says Carl Watchorn, Head of Customer Propositions.

“But many people still struggle to bring finances into the conversation, even as life gets more expensive. Breaking that silence earlier can make a real difference to couples’ wellbeing.”

First dates: who’s paying?

When it comes to first dates, over a third (36%) of Brits spend between £50-£100 on a first date, with age playing a significant role in spending habits. While 25–34-year-olds are most likely to invest more in first impressions, with nearly 13% spending £301-£400, those aged 55+ tend to opt for more modest dating experiences, with an average spend of £92.

Splitting the bill equally is now the most common approach among Brits (36%), reflecting evolving attitudes towards dating expenses. The research shows older generations are particularly comfortable with sharing costs, with 50% of 45–54-year-olds preferring to split.

Regional differences also paint a clear picture: Londoners spend an average of £260 on first dates, compared to £132 in Leeds and £144 in the Plymouth.

When do couples talk money?

Despite recognising how important financial compatibility is, many couples are putting off meaningful conversations until major milestones:

41% wait until engagement or marriage before having serious money talks.
40% wait until moving in together.
Over a third (35%) only address finances when a problem arises.

More concerning is that while 35% couples address money matters when issues arise, 28% avoid these conversations altogether.

When it comes to joint finances, marriage remains key catalyst for financial merger, with 71% of married couples maintaining a joint account compared to just 30% of dating couples. These accounts are used mostly for bills (52%), followed by shared savings goals (32%) and holidays (20%).

“There’s still a sense of awkwardness or even fear around talking about money – especially early on,” adds Carl. “But honest conversations about spending habits, saving goals and priorities can prevent conflict and set couples up for longer-term success.”

Financial impact of weddings

When it comes to tying the knot, the research revealed a significant expectation vs. reality gap in spending:

UK couples overspend on their wedding day by 31%, with the average cost hitting £13,520, over £3,000 above budget
Married 25–34-year-olds spend the most, exceeding their wedding budget by 46%, spending £21,553 on average compared to a planned £14,706

It’s not just couples feeling the financial pinch. Guests are too – spending an average of £473 to attend a single wedding, primarily on accommodation (33%), outfits (17%) and gifts (15%).

That cost is leading to tough decisions: 35% of people have declined a wedding invite for financial reasons, rising to 48% among 25–34s.

Carl Watchorn adds: “Today’s couples are navigating the delicate balance between creating their dream wedding and maintaining financial wellbeing. While social pressures can influence spending decisions, we’re seeing more couples having open conversations about costs and priorities. This shift towards financial transparency is helping people celebrate life’s big moments while staying true to their long-term financial goals.”

“From first dates to wedding days, the research shows that money conversations play a crucial role in modern relationships, At HSBC UK, we’re here to help couples have more open discussions about finances, offering practical tools and guidance to support them at every stage of their relationship journey.”

HSBC UK’s Savings Goals feature is now helping customers set almost 20,000 goals every month – from honeymoons to house deposits. Since launching, over 100,000 goals have already been created, with one in ten already achieved.
At HSBC UK, couples can access free budgeting tools, joint savings features and expert support to help them navigate every stage of their financial journey together. HSBC UK also offers a wide range of current account options to help you stay on track with your finances.