How can you reassure a child about to start Reception or secondary school when, because of Covid disruption, they haven’t attended a normal transition day?

Former teacher Emma Shingleton of education resource experts PlanBee has some great ideas for calming anxieties

Moving up to ‘big school’ – whether Reception or secondary school – is daunting at the best of times (for parents as well as children!). But due to Covid restrictions, the normal transition days that would have been held in the summer term have been badly disrupted. While some schools managed to organise days that were as near as possible to normal, in many cases they had to be virtual, or didn’t happen at all. In particular, most children haven’t had the opportunity to meet their new teachers in person or explore their new classroom. This has left many children feeling anxious and unprepared for the next step in their education journey.

Why are transitions important?

For lots of children, moving into Reception might be their first time in a school environment, which can be a nerve-wracking experience for a four or five year old!

Similarly, children moving from primary school to secondary have been used to a smaller school environment and being supported closely by their teachers. In comparison, secondary schools are much bigger, with long corridors and many places to get lost! Children are expected to take more responsibility for their learning and will have gone from being big fish in a small pond to small fish in a very big pond.

So what can you do to support your children moving to the next stage of their school journey?

Keep the lines of communication open
Talk to your child, let them know you are there for them. If they don’t want to talk, let them know you will be ready to listen when they are ready to talk. Try to avoid making your child feel under pressure during the conversation or minimising their concerns. Sometimes just being present is the most important thing we can do.

Some great responses to validate feelings are, ‘I can hear you feel really nervous about…’, ‘Gosh, I can see how that would feel scary’. These let your child know you have listened, and you can acknowledge and name the feeling without confirming it.

Our free Synonym Book of Emotions or the Mood Trackers for Kids sheet could help your child learn and use the vocabulary they need to explain how they are feeling.

Give control where you can
Having a sense of control can ease anxiety and create a feeling of stability, but be careful not to overpromise. For example, let your child decide the order they complete agreed tasks, but don’t give them free rein on what the tasks are. Decide together what fun things you’ll do this week, but don’t plan something you have no control over, for example, what will happen at school.

Develop a positive mindset

Children are very intuitive and will be aware of your feelings towards their school transition. Make sure to use positive language when talking about going back to school. Some good phrases to use are ‘I’m so excited for you!’, ‘I wonder what exciting things you will learn about?, ‘You’re going to have so much fun!’.
Other ways to support your child…

● Arrange playdates with other children who will be in the same class
● Encourage older children to meet up with children who will be going to their new school
● Do practice runs of their new journey to school
● If you’ve been given a transition pack, go through it with your child and make sure it is available for them to access as they wish.