It’s normal to feel awkward sexting for the first time. The truth is, it’s not easy to send a sexy text message at first. It takes time and practice to be comfortable sending sexual texts. If you’re new to sending sexy texts, then you’re feeling awkward because you’re not used to it yet.

The good news is that it gets easier with practice! It’s like learning to ride a bike or play the piano — it takes some time and effort before you’ll feel confident enough to do it, and also enjoy doing it, which is the most important thing. There are, however, many reasons why someone might feel awkward:

1. You might feel like you’re doing something wrong. Some people have a moral issue with sending sexually explicit pictures and videos of themselves to other people. If you’re one of them, then you’ll probably feel weird about it at first.

2. You might be worried about how the other person will react to your sexts. You may be afraid that they’ll think less of you or that they’ll get angry or offended by what you send them. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so this is another reason why it can be awkward at first.

3. You might not know what kind of pictures or videos to send in order to get the reaction that you want from your partner (if this is someone with whom you have an existing relationship). It takes time for people to figure out what kinds of things their partners like best — or if they like them at all.

4. You may be afraid of rejection. Some people worry about what might happen if their partner gets offended by their text message and decides not to reply or even worse, breaks up with them because of it! This fear of being rejected can cause people to hesitate before sending an intimate message for fear of saying something wrong or offending their partner in some way. In reality, most people won’t have an issue with a sexual text message unless it’s rude or offensive in some way (i.e., not respecting boundaries).

But the relationship benefits massively outweigh the awkwardness, according to an expert
Pippa Murphy said, “However, the awkwardness of sexting for the first time is massively outweighed by the potential benefits of sexting with your partner. Sexting is actually a powerful tool for building intimacy and connection in a relationship. Here are just some of the benefits:

“You’ll have better sex in real life. Sexting can help build excitement and anticipation for physical intimacy, which can in turn lead to more satisfying experiences in person. When you and your partner engage in sexting, you are building sexual tension and desire that can make the actual physical experience much more fulfilling. It can also be a way to explore each other’s fantasies and desires, which can lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and wants. You’ll also find that you’re likely to be happier with your sex life in person too; by exploring each other’s sexual desires and preferences through sexting, you can better understand what turns your partner on and what they need to feel fulfilled sexually.”

“Your communication will improve. Sexting requires you to be clear and specific about what you want and what you’re comfortable with, which can improve communication in your relationship. When you share intimate details and desires with your partner, it can help build a sense of trust and vulnerability. It can also encourage you to be more open and honest with each other about your sexual needs and preferences.

“Your emotional connection will strengthen. Sexting can be a way to connect emotionally with your partner. Sharing intimate details and fantasies with your partner can help you feel more connected and can deepen your emotional bond. Sexting can also be a way to express affection and love for your partner in a more intimate way. It’s also perfect for those in long-distance relationships. Sexting gives couples an excuse to spend some quality time together, even if they’re miles apart. It helps them feel closer to each other and gives them something fun to look forward to when they’re apart.

“However, it’s important to make both you and your partner comfortable with sexting and that you’re practising it safely and responsibly. Make sure that you trust your partner completely and that you’re using secure methods of communication. And always make sure that you’re respecting your partner’s boundaries and comfort levels. With these precautions in mind, sexting can be a powerful tool for building intimacy and connection in your relationship.”

Five sexting tips for first-timers
Sexting for the first time can be nerve-wracking, but as previously mentioned, it can be a fun and exciting way to connect with your partner. Here are Pippa’s top tips for getting started.

1. Make sure to ask for their consent. Before you start, it’s to make sure that your partner is comfortable with it too. Sexting can be a sensitive topic, and it’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries and comfort levels. You can start by asking them if they’re interested in trying it out in person or over text if you’re in a long-distance relationship.

2. Don’t send them out of the blue if it’s your/their first time. If your partner is asleep, in the shower, or otherwise distracted and not paying attention to their phone when you send a text, it’s likely to be ignored. Instead, wait until they’re about to get ready for bed or have just finished eating dinner so that they’ll have time and attention for whatever you’re sending them.

3. Be descriptive. Sexting is all about using words to create a sensual and erotic experience. Use descriptive language to paint a picture of what you want to do to your partner, or what you want them to do to you. If you’re new to sexting, you could keep it short and sweet – sending 1-3 sentences – and then wait to see how descriptively your partner replies before delving into your fantasies (or theirs) more.

4. Think about what your partner might want to hear. If you’re not familiar with their kinks or fantasies, don’t feel like you have to come up with something from scratch that’s guaranteed to work. If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, ask them directly. They’ll probably be happy to share their fantasies and desires with you—and if they’re not, that’s a sign that maybe they don’t feel very secure in their relationship.

5. Don’t send unsolicited photos without their permission. Don’t pressure your partner into doing anything they’re not comfortable with, and always get their consent before sending explicit messages or photos.