There can be few things in life as bittersweet as organising a funeral for a loved one. On one hand, you’re arranging a celebration of their life but on the other, you’re saying goodbye to them forever. It’s also a deceptively stressful task as you need to appease so many different people without upsetting them.

Funerals can be planned by a funeral director, by the deceased themselves before they pass or by a surviving relative. In our experience, planning the event alongside a professional funeral director is always going to be the least stressful option. They do this every week and know exactly what’s expected of them at every stage of the process. But finding the right funeral director is just the first step.

Choose the right funeral director

Choose a funeral director who belongs to a professional association, such as the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) or the Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF). Citizens’ advice should be able to point you in the right direction here. Alongside being professionally accredited, the director you choose should also be a company you feel comfortable with and one that aligns with your ideals.

Burial or cremation?

This is a very personal decision that hopefully will have been made by the deceased and laid out in their will. If it hasn’t however, this becomes perhaps the trickiest part of arranging the funeral. Depending on the beliefs of the family this can be a bit of a minefield to navigate. Just be sure you’ve considered everybody’s thoughts and don’t jump to a decision until you’ve been given the all-clear from the whole family.

Work out the cost

The cost depends on the type of funeral you choose, but in the UK, funerals can get costly. If you are struggling to deal with the cost of the funeral thanks to the inheritance tax placed on what your loved one left you, meanwhile, you can take out an inheritance tax loan to help ease the burden or reach out to other family members to help share the financial load.

Arrange the service

Usually, the paperwork, logistics and practical organisation of the funeral will fall under the responsibility of the funeral director. However, everything else is going to fall on you. This includes any potential meals or catering. Because while the director will certainly help in these areas the final choice is down to you.

You know better than anybody what the deceased would have wanted, after all. What music they’d like played, who’s invited (and who isn’t) and the all-important date and time. Once that has been sorted out you can focus on giving your loved one the send-off they deserve.