A new poll of teenagers from London has revealed that questions about their future career (48%) and education plans (44%) are among the top three most dreaded topics that family ask about over Christmas, pipped to the post only by relationships (59%)1.

In fact, almost seven in 10 (69%) of those surveyed in London agreed that ‘What are you going to do after school or college?’ is one of the worst questions their family can ask in this scenario.

The poll of 1,500 teenagers aged 14 to 19 across England was commissioned by the Skills for Life: It All Starts with Skills campaign to better understand how young people are feeling, ahead of families spending more time together over Christmas – with the topic of education and careers a source of frustration for many young people. However, there could be a simple solution to these tensions, as previous research showed 42% of teens said if their parents understood more about the routes on offer now, they could have more productive conversations about their next steps2.

The findings have been released as people mark T Levels Week3, an annual week-long event running 2 to 6 December 2024 aimed at raising awareness of T Levels and showcasing their benefits for young people, and an optimum time to explore broader technical education and training routes.

With festivities on the horizon and many of us poised to see extended family this month, almost three fifths (58%) from London say this is the prompt for bigger life questions arising from loved ones that they don’t see at other times of the year – and a similar amount (60%) of young people, these tend to happen around the dinner table.

To help ease tensions between loved ones and enable more productive conversations about education and career next steps, Skills for Life has released ‘Dinner Table Notes’4 – a series of tips from experts and teenagers themselves to help families navigate these bigger conversations.

Almost two fifths (37%) teens from London agreed that they feel like their family inflicts their views on them when talking about their future – but more than a third (35%) admitted they’d be more open to these conversations if families reduced the pressure and avoided imposing their expectations.

Young people in London said families should avoid:

Comparing them to others (47%)
Assuming they know what’s best for them (40%)
Being overly critical or judgmental (44%)

Psychotherapist Dr. Aaron Balick, author of the popular young person’s self-help book ‘Keep Your Cool’, said: “As we approach the holidays many of us look forward to large family gatherings with mixed feelings. Lots of uninterrupted time in close proximity with loved ones from across the generations tends to have a fair share of tension and aggravation alongside cosiness and familiarity. Teens can often find themselves under the spotlight with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles crowding in to ask about their lives and future plans. And even though they may be well intentioned, as this research shows, situations like these can make teens feel pretty uncomfortable if they are not approached thoughtfully, which can make them reluctant to share more. Fortunately, we can draw some great advice for parents and teens alike to make this a bit easier.”

According to the research:

Almost two fifths (38%) of teens said they don’t enjoy being put on the spot with questions about their future – and a quarter (26%) say it sometimes feels like they’re being interrogated
Nearly one third (31%) feel unsure about their future plans
33% said their family won’t understand the plans they’re considering

Commenting on the range of pathways available to young people, James Platford, a careers adviser for the National Careers Service, said: “There are lots of education and training routes available to young people aged 16 to 18 now, which is a great thing. But knowing about these choices as a parent or family member, can feel daunting especially if it’s not a route they’ve had experience with themselves.

“Technical education and training pathways, such as T Levels, apprenticeships and Higher Technical Qualifications, for example, may feel less familiar than other academic routes. However, these qualifications are designed with employers and offer industry knowledge, skills, practical experience and possible career pathways. The most important thing to help aid conversations with your child is to be open to exploring all available routes and to listen with an open mind.

“I’d recommend visiting the Skills for Life website, which is a fantastic resource for exploring education and training options that offer a great alternative to more traditional academic routes. Or, if you’d like to speak with someone directly, you can speak with a National Careers Service adviser free of charge.”