UK based dating and relationship experts have proven through science why ladies should wait 90 days before having sex with a new partner.

The 90 day dating rule first came to prominence through Steve Harvey, the well-known television personality and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Harvey introduced his famous rule to help ladies avoid relationship trouble by separating stayers from the players.

Husband and wife dating coaches, Stephen and Ebun Hammond, of Love Dimensions, have been helping singles to find love for more than five years. They are also the authors of Dating & Relationships Principles for Marriage (pub. 2023). The book took four years to write and uses the latest science research throughout, to show daters how they can meet the right love match for them and build their relationship to go on to have a happy and successful marriage. During this four year research period, the authors set themselves the task to put Harvey’s rule under the microscope to see if it had science merit or not. It turns out he was right!

Stephen said, “We first of all looked at what science research could teach us about how our hormones react in love situations. What is commonly known is that sexual attraction in both women and men is brought on by a mixture of hormones including testosterone, dopamine and adrenaline (which is also known as epinephrine) to make us feel the rush of excitement and euphoria we experience in the early stages of dating and falling in love. These feelings are essential to get us to keep wanting to meet up with the other person and build a relationship.

“However, what is not commonly known is that science research has also shown that it usually takes at least 2-3 months for people to fall in love. Again, hormones are at work influencing this. Oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, is found to be on average three times more in women than men, and aids bonding in relationships. Vasopressin is lesser known but is essential to help men to desire monogamy and mate-guarding in a relationship. However, just as it takes time for emotional attachment in men to grow, it takes time for their testosterone levels to reduce and allow oxytocin and vasopressin levels to take effect. Testosterone is an important chemical hormone element in love attraction for both sexes.”

Ebun, in warning ladies about the dangers of rushing into commitment too early says, “Let’s face it, dating should be all about having fun. However, in our experience, if ladies don’t give enough time to get to know someone properly, then they are more likely to end up with someone who is emotionally unstable or risk being a victim of domestic violence. The 90-day rule goes a long way to prevent either of these, and is a good science based principle we encourage all our clients to follow.”