Ash Bibi, 47, shot to fame when she appeared on The Traitors UK last year, becoming one of the infamous ‘traitors’. Now, for the first time, the reality TV star and Walthamstow resident is bravely opening up about her harrowing childhood marked by violence and abuse. Recounting her traumatic experiences and her eventual escape, she is hoping to shine a light on critical issues surrounding domestic abuse that many young women and girls still face today.

From the age of nine, Ash realised that her home was not a safe place. She lived under the constant fear and threat of violence from other family members, “I spent my childhood lying awake, terrified that the next scream I heard would mean something terrible, and that I would be in the firing line again.”

Ash’s family dynamics left her feeling like a prisoner, forbidden from engaging with the outside world, having friends, and expressing her interests. At 12, Ash confided in teachers about her abusive home life, but her approaches for help were met with systemic obstacles. The support she received from schools official was reassuring, however they’re lack of knowledge in the matter was difficult, as the community organisations they matched her with were very unsupportive.

“These organisations told me to stay compliant, to be a ‘good girl’, rather than offering any real solutions. I quickly understood that their advice did not reflect an understanding of the situation I was living through.”

A turning point came when Ash was 13-years-old. She vividly recalls seeing Esther Rantzen on television talking about ChildLine. Inspired by this, she took the step to call the organisation for help, “I was terrified, but I knew I had to get help from somewhere. They advised me to speak to a trusted adult, so I confided in my science teacher.”

This teacher recognised the severity of Ash’s situation and connected her to a specialised agency in Birmingham. There, Ash faced a pivotal choice, leave home before turning 16 and enter the court system, or wait until she was 16 and navigate the process without legal involvement. Choosing the latter, Ash struggled through months of fear and anxiety until she reached her birthday.

The day after her sixteenth birthday, Ash, accompanied by a supportive friend, returned to the agency for assistance. They contacted social services, who swiftly arranged for Ash to be placed in a women’s refuge in Worcester, where she found a temporary but critical sanctuary from her violent homelife, “Stepping into that refuge was the first time I felt a sense of security. The refuge not only provided safety but also resources for her emotional healing.”

Ash was matched with a police officer who specialised in cases involving young women escaping abusive environments, “He was a vital resource, guiding me and ensuring my safety”.

Despite finding safety, Ash was haunted by the guilt of leaving her younger sister behind, knowing she could face similar to what Ash had experienced, “I had to put my safety first, but the guilt of leaving my sister alone in that environment was overwhelming”.

Now Ash, who was born in Birmingham but now lives in London, is determined to elevate her voice in the fight against violence against women and girls, “My past is not just my story, it represents many who are still suffering in silence today. It is crucial that we confront these issues head-on, realising that cultural and social barriers often silence victims. We need to create more widely accessible support systems for girls and young women who feel trapped, no matter their background. If there is anybody right now who is trapped in a situation like I was, I want them to know there is always a way out, even when it seems impossible”.